yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
