Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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