Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
