if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
