What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
one might say we're banned from that church
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
