some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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