we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
