I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
