So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
