Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
