I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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