dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
