my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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