All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
