She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
