Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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