Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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