Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
