The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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