can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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