So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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