Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
