he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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