i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
