Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
