My first STD was from a foam party
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
