Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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