My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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