her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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