I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
