i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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