think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
