I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This house was built for laser tag.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
