I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
