He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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