I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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