Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
