I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
