lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
