that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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