Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
