i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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