This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
where are you?
Hypothermia
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
