i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
