hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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