Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
