I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
