so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
