Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
