He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
