I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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